January 12, 2000 - Volume 2, Number 1

Welcome to a sixth edition of the Baren Touhk Gazette. And hey! We have another raffle coming up, and shortly after, the Winter Festival featuring more raffles, auctions and games! The Masquerade Ball/Raffler/Auction was a major success and our city outdid itself once again in areas or participation and ingenuity. But topping even that should be no problem, so the upcoming events promise to be even more entertaining.
In the issue we'll still provide all the useful and most information regarding the raffles and auction and Winter Festival. We also have a transcript of the last auction. Our slaves fetched some pretty high prices. How high? You'll have to see for yourself. We've got a couple of new poems, some more words from aurora's From the first girl's desk, and the latest news and info on what's happening and who's new and silked in the city.

So sit back and relax while the weather rages outdoors and read. Grab some favorite beverage and see what's new!


  • The next raffle is scheduled for January 23. Raffle offers have all been collected. Type .help raffle and .raffle for more information and to see who is currently up for grabs. If you would have something you'd like to offer for the next raffle in February, contact aurora with your information. Dont' wait until the last minute! For information on who is up for raffle, and a summary of raffle commands, check out the Raffle and Auction Update Page

  • With the retirement of Talon from the staff, we are updating the lineup of the CT staff and management. The talker staff is now listed thusly...

    talker manager - aurora
    Master Lothar - Ubar of Baren Touhk

    City Council:
    Master Fane - Captain of the Council
    Master Kaard - Councilman

    Council Advisors:
    Talon - retired councilman
    Lady Zara - slave instructor
    aurora - first girl
    serafina - second girl
    Master Rask - staff assistant
    Master Ariakan - staff assistant
    Master Beowulf - staff assistant
    Master Imhotep - staff assistant

  • Lady Zara's classes have been a big success. Past topics have been on paga and kalana.
    The upcoming schedule: 1/18 - The Gorean wine service; 1/25, 2/7, & 2/14 - Slave positions; 2/21 - Commands for slaves; 2/28 - Intro to Gor. All class will be held at 8pm est. This is a tentative schedule and subject to change.
    People with topics they would like to see covered, please contact Zara.

  • We'd like to thank the entire city for allowing aurora to take a much needed vacation from her duties during the holiday season. We would also like to comment serafina for her outstanding work while filling in as first girl during this time. She did much to help keep city operations running smoothly and her time and sacrifice is much appreciated. We'd also like to thank Fane for filling in as port manager. He did an excellent job. Thank you!
    Welcome back aurora!

  • There is a new schedule for New User Orientations. If you are giving information to a new user, or are awaiting an NUO yourself, type in .show schedule for the latest information.
    New User Orientation are held:
    Sunday - with sadira 7pm Eastern Time
    Monday - with serafina at 8 pm Eastern Time.
    Wednesday - with lissa at 8 pm Eastern Time
    Thursday - with sulis at 1 pm Eastern Time
    Friday - with aurora at 2 pm Eastern Time
    special arrangements for other times can be made by contacting aurora, serafina, or sulis

  • Baren Touhk has recently built a PracticeServery for new slaves and Free Persons to learn about Gorean foods and drinks and how to serve them. The first girl and the second girl have volunteered to be available for help in the PracticeServery room for any that wish to learn. Also any citizen is welcome to use the room for the same purpose.
    ---serafina will be available for help --- Mondays at 7 pm Eastern Time
    ---aurora will be available to help --- Sundays at 8 pm Eastern Time


&
Auction Transcript from Masquerade Ball - a complete transcript of our most recent auction. Much fun was had by all. If you've never participated ni an auction, this is a good way get a feel for what goes on.

From the First Girl's Desk... - A new column with helpful advice from our very own first girl, aurora.

Upcoming Events - Dates for the upcoming raffle and auction and Winter Festival as well as hints and help on how to make the most of it.

Gorean Trivia II - a sequel to last issue's Gorean trivia challenge. (answers are included)

Third Knowledge - .show files, what they are, where they are, and what to do with them.

This issue's thoughts, musings and ideas. Some talk. Looking for an assistant. Some random thoughts. - Kaard


  • The city welcomes its newest Freepersons: KarAlt (Warrior), Blade (Poet), Daeron (Musician), Dragonsheart (Warrior), Edihwar (Initiate), Khan (Warrior), Kyzumi (Assassin), Martellus (Assassin), Rease (Warrior), Rthur (Merchant), Sephiroth (Blacksmith), Thrain (Warrior), Tiberius (Warrior), Ursus (Scribe), WhiteTiger (Woodman), and Zenyara (Thief). Tal and Welcome!

  • Captain Fane and High Scribe Khim entered into a Free Companionship in a public ceremony this past Monday. The city joins together in congratulated them and wishing them a happy househould.

  • Master Talon is retiring from the council and a Warriors_Lodge is being built in his honor. He will still serve as a council advisor. We join together in thanks for all his work and encourage his presence among us.

  • Congratulations to Lady Zara on her induction into the Crimson Guild of Baren Touhk and on her title of Advisor to the City Council. Also announced as Council Advisors, Ariakan, Beowulf, Rask, and Imhotep.

  • Recent collarings: Fane - citrhyn, Norak - shauri, Imhotep - sasha, Rask - alika, Vitellius - eden



  • The city welcomes the newest slaves to the City: raela, cheria, liadan, helen, nyia, warwick, citrhyn, eden, tigerlily, carmen, bret, kittelena, shani, and arianna.Greetings to all!

  • the city thanks lefaye for writing the code for a new toybag item, the slavesack.

    • Silkings

    New Garden Helpers

    Newly Silked in Black

    • arianna
    • cheri
    • helen
    • liadan
    • nyia
    • warwick

    Newly Silked in White

    • kalara

    Newly Silked in Yellow

    • adara
    • eden
    • lissa
    Newly Silked in Red
    • ahava
    • citrhyn
    • sadira


    We're pleased to be able to present some of the works of our resident poets. They do their city proud.

    His Words - by kittelena


    Humor

     A drunken Torvoldslander warrior who smelled like beer sat down on a bench in the local temple of the priest kings. The warrior's beard and tunic were stained, his face was plastered with grease from a roast bosk, and he had in his belt the torn shreds of a slave's silk.
    Nervously, an Initiate of the temple approached the drunken warrior and asked if there was anything he could help him with.
    After a few minutes the warrior turned to the priest and asked, "Say, what causes arthritis?"
    "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
    "Well, I'll be damned," the warrior muttered. The priest, thinking about what he had said, approached the Torvaldslander again and humbly apologized.
    "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
    "I don't have it, priest. I just heard that the High Initiate does".

    * * *

    One day, a boy was told by a friend that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him a dozen coins and says, "Just don't tell your father.
    Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father, a Merchant, to get home from his shop, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father also promptly gives him a handful of coins and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
    Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the local Baker at the door of his shop. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
    The baker drops down, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug."

    ***

    Two female slaves are ordered to paint a room in their master's home, and the last instruction of they received from him was that they must not get even a drop of paint on their silks.
    After conferring about this for a while, the two slaves decide to close the door of the room, strip off their silks, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.
    "Who is it?", calls one of the slaves.
    "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.
    The two slaves look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
    "Nice tits," says the man, "Where do you want these blinds?"

    ***

    Once, in a small village, lived a peasant named Korl. Everyone in the village knew Korl as a very optimistic person. Korl, whenever placed in a terribled situation would say, "it could have been worse." Everyone in the village was tired of hearing Korl say that so one day they decided to to lie to him.
    Several other villagers went up to him and said, "Korl, the Tanner, Bril, found his wife in bed with another man last night! He stabbed the man and then himself! Isn't it terrible???" Then Korl said, "well, yes it's terrible, but it could've been worse!"
    The villagers said, "How could THAT possibly be worse?" Korl replied, "well, if it had been the night before I would've been dead!"

    * * *


    Next issue to come out by February 18.
    Contact Kaard@yahoo.com for submissions, ideas, comments and criticisms.

    Last updated January 12, 1999